Late Birthday Appreciation post :)

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

This picture was taken on November 17th. Yes, it was my birthday date.

I did not expect anything when I arrived there except with the expectation of playing badminton, of course.

Thank you to all of you who planned the pleasant surprise (well I'm surprised) although it was a tad bit late to prepare the cake. heheh

Thank you for the dinner treat, the conversation, the company and the memorable memories. :)

Could not thank you more, really. (you here means plural "you")

Catitan untuk seorang Ras

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Ras or Togi is what I called her. She's this one small and petite girl but her ambition and dreams are humongous. She's a superwoman I would say. My inspiration, my personal motivational speaker, my roommate, my pillow talk mate, my theater mate, my flight buddy, my pojok gang, and my third wheeler ( Lol ). *wiping tears*


I wouldn't have survive the stress that I have to bear during Summer 2013. WE always have our own way of releasing stress. I can write a book if you were to ask me to tell you about all of our adventures together. :')

A Grey's Anatomy's freak. She can be a drama queen. She can be super hyper (especially after a glass of Extra Joss). She's a multi-talented person. 

I told you earlier that she is my flight buddy sebab my first and second year, kitorang pergi and balik sekali. Most of the time, it's just the two of us. I remembered, there was a turbulance (quite severe) during one of our flights, we were both asleep at that time, but because of the sudden motion, we both terkejut and tersedar. We hold each other's hand and silently pray for our safeness.

It's weird, before I started writing this post, I have lots to say to you, really. But now, i can't seem to find the right words to describe this feelings.

although we might not be able to hear about each other's day these days, do know that I will always pray for the best for you. You know how much I miss you and of course how much  I love you.

Take care, Ras.

Transition from teenagers to early adulthood seems tough for me

Adjusting myself from study time to working world is really challenging

There's no more "togetherness" in the working world

It's all about me myself and I

And office hour doesn't seem to be enough

So we work over time but never gets paid

Now tell me, where is the time for ourselves?

I told myself I do not want to work in the Bank 

Guess what, I work in a bank now

And it starts to get on my nerve

I told myself so many times

I'm in learning phase

So it's normal to feel stress

But this time I'm not stress

I'm frustrated

By those people who take advantage on me

I searched and listened back to the songs I have on my playlist during my college year

How I miss those time

The time where we got time to travel

To laugh and to strengthen the friendship

If I could turn back time

I would like to go through my college life one more time

But guess what, Laa yukallifullahu nafsan illa wusahaa.. " Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear"

You can do this, Azira!

May Allah ease everything, for me and for both of us.

*you know who you are* 

Because I miss the student life I had in the States. 

Birthday post! :)

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

As I was typing this, it's another 8 minutes for a new day. But I'm too tired to wait and too sleepy hence this post.

I've been thinking on what should I do for tomorrow, what kind of presents I should give and honestly nothing comes in mind.

Maybe it's not the right time yet even though this time, this year we're in the same time zone, under the same sky..

Although there were not many people who are aware of what's going on in between us but that's okay.. We can keep it just between us two..

Anyways, 23 years ago you were born. And all the things that you've been through were the things that make who you are today.. Thank you, for being you..

And thank you, for being born. For all the things that you've said to me and everything you've done for me.. Thank you.. :)

Happy birthday! May Allah showers you with all the happiness in the world and rewards you with the things that are the best for you. May all your dreams comes true..

You know who you are~

Questions

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Last Monday I had an interview, and before I went back to Seremban, I had to stop at KL Sentral since I was taking public transportation. And kena makan sebab I only had nasi lemak for breakfast at 9 a.m. before I head to KL. When I sat down in McD, it was 4.45 p.m. if I'm not mistaken. 

Baru makan a few fries, one gentleman approached me and asked if he can sit in front of me. He's from Prudential and he asked a lot of questions to me. Much to my surprise, I did not feel harmed nor uncomfortable. Maybe because it has been a long time since I spoke to a stranger. I mean I did before the interview but this one was different. This one was much more casual. 

The questions he asked, stuck in my mind until today. Like seriously. I'm worried, am I the only one who have the thoughts like this?

What is your dream job?

I said Teacher. He looked surprised, he asked again, what kind of teacher? Lecturer do you mean? I said, no, just teacher. 

You tak nak bukak your own tadika or taska or daycare?

*omg, that's a good question.* Honestly, ada terfikir, even kakak pun pernah asked me about this but I said to him, "I have that in mind but probably not dalam masa yang terdekat."

"What is your dream car?"

*Again, I was surprised myself for not thinking about this. Is this normal?* So I simply answered, "realistically, I would say, Myvi or Iris?" Lol, is that an answer or a question?

"What is your desired income?"

Another killer question. OMG, I stayed silent for a couple of minute. Mind you, a minute is long okay. Then he changed question, "What's your income when you are 27?" "What is your minimum income?"

Is this normal? For not having a thought about this, even once? 

"Why do you want to be teacher? How does this dream comes around?"

I told him about it, well saya malu nak cerita kat sini hihi.

Banyak lagi soalan2 yang beliau tanya but I can't really remember. But after meeting him, honestly, I have been thinking, why on earth have I never think about all the questions he asked. 

He kept on asking me questions and after I answered, he would stare at one place, as if he was thinking. Well, he does look like he was thinking. 

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm looking for what motivates you. You have a good personality." And he told me things that I don't know I have before. Did I tell you guys how much I hate the SWOT analysis? Because I don't know, maybe I can't seem to figure what is my strength. I can only see my flaws. Really.

And no, he's not trying to woo me or anything. 

Before I noticed it, he left after saying goodbye and gave me his business card. And being hungry, I finished the fries while talking to him and left my fillet-o-fish sandwich untouched. *sobs* And my stomach grumbled but I have to catch the train before orang ramai rushing untuk balik sebab it's already 5.24 p.m.

So, now.. I am still looking, the answers to all these question and the answer to why am I not having the answers to all these questions.

I'm confused.

Questions

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Last Monday I had an interview, and before I went back to Seremban, I had to stop at KL Sentral since I was taking public transportation. And kena makan sebab I only had nasi lemak for breakfast at 9 a.m. before I head to KL. When I sat down in McD, it was 4.45 p.m. if I'm not mistaken. 

Baru makan a few fries, one gentleman approached me and asked if he can sit in front of me. He's from Prudential and he asked a lot of questions to me. Much to my surprise, I did not feel harmed nor uncomfortable. Maybe because it has been a long time since I spoke to a stranger. I mean I did before the interview but this one was different. This one was much more casual. 

The questions he asked, stuck in my mind until today. Like seriously. I'm worried, am I the only one who have the thoughts like this?

What is your dream job?

I said Teacher. He looked surprised, he asked again, what kind of teacher? Lecturer do you mean? I said, no, just teacher. 

You tak nak bukak your own tadika or taska or daycare?

*omg, that's a good question.* Honestly, ada terfikir, even kakak pun pernah asked me about this but I said to him, "I have that in mind but probably not dalam masa yang terdekat."

"What is your dream car?"

*Again, I was surprised myself for not thinking about this. Is this normal?* So I simply answered, "realistically, I would say, Myvi or Iris?" Lol, is that an answer or a question?

"What is your desired income?"

Another killer question. OMG, I stayed silent for a couple of minute. Mind you, a minute is long okay. Then he changed question, "What's your income when you are 27?" "What is your minimum income?"

Is this normal? For not having a thought about this, even once? 

"Why do you want to be teacher? How does this dream comes around?"

I told him about it, well saya malu nak cerita kat sini hihi.

Banyak lagi soalan2 yang beliau tanya but I can't really remember. But after meeting him, honestly, I have been thinking, why on earth have I never think about all the questions he asked. 

He kept on asking me questions and after I answered, he would stare at one place, as if he was thinking. Well, he does look like he was thinking. 

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm looking for what motivates you. You have a good personality." And he told me things that I don't know I have before. Did I tell you guys how much I hate the SWOT analysis? Because I don't know, maybe I can't seem to figure what is my strength. I can only see my flaws. Really.

And no, he's not trying to woo me or anything. 

Before I noticed it, he left after saying goodbye and gave me his business card. And being hungry, I finished the fries while talking to him and left my fillet-o-fish sandwich untouched. *sobs* And my stomach grumbled but I have to catch the train before orang ramai rushing untuk balik sebab it's already 5.24 p.m.

So, now.. I am still looking, the answers to all these question and the answer to why am I not having the answers to all these questions.

I'm confused.

Toilet story (Lols, it sound like: Toy Story!)

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Hello people, phewwwww, when was the last time I wrote in my blog? Raya pun dah habis. Lewl. 

My family and I went for a dinner dekat "Where East meets West" kalau tak silap nama dia. I can't remember when was it haha, probably few weeks ago. Masa tengah makan then my brother had to go to the toilet. Bila dah sampai, tengah senyum2. I was like, kenapa pulak Naem ni.

Then he said, "kat toilet tadi ada dua orang budak. Sorang dalam tandas, sorang kat luar. Yang dalam tandas asyik jerit2 panggil abang dia. Takut kena tinggal."

It reminds us of masa kitorang kecik2 kat berek. I was just like that little girl, haha padahal dalam rumah je pun. Berek dulu toilet kat belakang, dekat dengan dapur, and dapur dulu open air. Cehh, bunyi macam megah je kan. Tak tau macam mana nak describe the settings, erm... Senang cerita, korang pergi berek polis atau bomba atau askar yang ada rumah pangsa empat tingkat tu, and pergi bahagian belakang. Then you'll know what I mean. HAHAH, aci tak macam ni? :P

Masa ni kecik lagi, I would go to the toilet to do number 2, pintu tak tutup. HAHA. And I would force my brother untuk teman. Dia akan duduk dekat meja makan, and sampai sekarang I didn't know what he was doing masa tunggu. Well, it goes the same for him kalau dia nak buat business number 2.

Disebabkan I couldn't see him nor hear him, I would panggil2 nama dia.

"Naem~ Naem.."

"Ye..."

"Ada lagi kan? Jangan pergi tau.. Tunggu kejap.."

"Ye ye..."

Things like this selalu berlaku especially malam. And I think, kalau balik kampung pun sama. Rasanya sampai sekarang, bezanya nowadays of course, I would close the door, tapi yang bab panggil memanggil masih lagi berlaku. Hahah. 

Am I the only one who experienced this?

Siapa sama, sila angkat tangan! (Though I can't see it. Heheee)

Doctors

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

The setting are off cause I'm writing this using my phone apps. 

Gambar sekadar hiasan (naaaaah, just cause I adore this drama although I'm quite weak when it comes to blood.)

I took care of my brother yesterday. It's tiring although what I did was just sitting next to him and help him took off the IV bottle when he went to the toilet and reached for his stuff in the rack. And of course scrolled down my timeline. Huhu. Just because I got really sleepy when I read the first page of "The year I met you" by Cecelia Ahern. 

So, while I was there. The doctors and nurses came and asked a few questions about my brother. And sometimes I saw them draw blood from other patients. Checked their bp and temperature. Basically I saw them kept running around, I mean walked around. Doing their round and jot down a few details about each patients.

When was the last time I went to the hospital? I can't even remember. When I was surrounded by those surroundings. I felt something. I adore and respect all the doctors, nurses and every single soul who work at the hospital. I can't imagine doing their jobs. Imagine they are doing these while fasting. Fuhhhh, beratnya jadi seorang doktor.

I found them attractive as well. *kekadang bila nampak doc pakai coat putih, saya selalu curi tengok* ehem, perempuan lah mostly. Ihiii

So to all doctors in this world, thank you for having this career as your job. Thank you for taking care of all the patients. Thank you for all the sacrifices. May Allah bless and grant you blessings. May Allah grant you calmness and tranquility in doing your jobs.

*I read diagnosis2 and I am amused and blessed. As I, am too, received lessons from their stories as well as gained some insights of what they went through*

Rant, from me

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

I want to have a night drive

Where we past all those lamp posts 

with stars above us

With soothing song on air

I don't mind which song

Your choice

I don't mind if we stuck in the traffic

Cause you know, I enjoy the night drive

I don't mind if we turn off the radio

I'd like to hear stories from you

About anything

I'm all ready for it

I don't mind if we pass through the same road twice

or maybe more

Cause you know, I enjoy the night drive

We can roll down the window

And enjoy the fresh air

Or maybe breath in the air full of the smoke from our car

Cause you know, I just enjoy the night drive

:)

Diari Ramadhan Azira (Heh yolahhh)

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

First of all, Ramadhan Kareem everyone! Semoga Ramadhan kali ini membawa keberkatan dan lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya. :)

Around this time ( I guess), I was on the train masa iftar and guess what, I have nothing with me to break fast. Huhu, cemane boleh lupa. So, duduk lerr sorang2. I was in the woman coach (duhhh, of course, ingat saya ni berani sangat?). Tengah mengelamun, tetiba sorang sister ni approached me. Dia hulurkan sebungkus roti gardenia perisa coklat. :') Serba salah sangat nak ambik. Maybe, muka saya masa tu tak larat sangat, or kesian sangat ke. Haha, tak ingat dah. But I'm pretty sure dah control habis dah ekspresi muka.

Dia insisted suruh ambik, and dia just berbuka air kotak (soya kalau tak silap). Ya Allah, roti gardenia tu rasa sedap dari biasa. Nikmat berkongsi dan rasa kenyang sangat bila dah habis sebuku. 

To that sister, thank you. Allah je yang boleh balas jasa awak. I can't even remember your face but your kindness will always be in my memory. Warn you, I remember things in a great detail. :)

Okay, that's done.

I don't know why, but I felt doing tarawikh this time, this year is way easier than last year. Rasa dipermudahkan sangat. Malas adalah sesekali tapi paksa diri and bila the Imam habis baca doa after witir satu rakaat, I was thankful sebab Allah gerakkan hati ini untuk paksa diri jugak pergi tarawikh.

Last year, sekali dua je kut pergi. A few times sendiri and banyak tinggal.

So, usually saya ikut Abah je, sebab Abah naik motor. Mak tak pergi sebab temankan Naem, he's not feeling well, still (Semoga Allah sembuhkan Naem, tabahkan hati dan teguhkan iman dalam mengharungi ujian ini.) Okay, harapnya 44 kali orang baca masa doa diterima, harapnya Allah perkenankan. Amin!

So, the first day. Selalu pakai jubah je and pakai telekung kat kepala, so basically tak pakai kain, I just guna the jubah as kain. So, dah habis tarawikh and dah sampai rumah dah pun. Oh ye, Abah selalu guna motor Ego, and I always sat yang gaya ayu tu. Sebelah je. Hihi. Sebab tak senonoh pulak nak duduk properly even though I wore sweatpants underneath. Huhu.

Okay, dah sampai and dengan confidentnya turun dari motor dengan melompat (sikit, jangan imagine macam lompat kat trampoline pulak, itu over). Tetiba jatuh menyembah bumi, sujud kat situ jugak. Nasib baik Abah pegang motor kuat. Kalau tau mahu jugak motor pun jatuh atas diri ini. 

Hahah, I was so confident duduk ayu macam tu, sekali tak sedar my kain jubah tersangkut dekat paddle kaki or whatever it is call. Lewl.

Abah: Kenapa ni? (because I hold on Abah's arm as well)

Me: (dalam hati cakap, takkan lah sengaja sujud sini tetiba, tak menyempat masuk rumah kut yee nak sujud syukur. hihi) Ni haaaa, jubah sangkut.

Walaupun gelap, I sensed Abah's smile on his little girl's clumsiness. Sorry Abah, anak abah ni memang macam ni. Lipas yang kecik tu pun boleh buat anak Abah ni lompat atas kerusi. (Okay yang ni korang boleh imagine saya lompat macam atas trampoline because I hate lipas so much that I don't even want to look at it).

Okay. Tu saja diari Ramadhan saya. (Eh yeke diari?)

Selamat berpuasa!

Jom niat sesame, baru sweet, kan?

1. Ini untuk yang sebulan...

نَوَيْتُ صَوْمَ شَهْرِ رَمَضَانَ كِلِّهِ لِلَّهِ تَعَالَى

Nawaitu shauma syahri ramadhaana kulihi lillaahi ta’aalaa

"Aku niat berpuasa selama satu bulan penuh di bulan Ramadhan tahun ini karena Allah Taala"

2. Ini untuk yang harian

          نـَوَيْتُ صَوْمَ غـَدٍ عَـنْ ا َدَاءِ فـَرْضِ شـَهْرِ رَمـَضَانَ هـَذِهِ السَّـنـَةِ لِلـّهِ تـَعَالىَ

Nawaitu saumagadin an'adai fardi syahri ramadhana hadzihissanati lillahita'ala

"Aku niat berpuasa esok hari untuk menunaikan kewajiban puasa pada bulan Ramadhan tahun ini karena Allah Taala".

Appreciation post for Prathamesh Patil :)

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

I worked as a food server in Memorial Union Food Court in my Uni. Honestly, I enjoyed working there despite how numb my foot would feel at the end of the day. Why?

I get to meet a lot of people, to greet and change their day. I like it when I get to make them smile after they bought food from my stall. Also, I get to work with a lot of amazing people. So, today's post is for that someone.

I knew him in Fall 2015. He is from India and came to ISU to continue his post-grad school. He's a good listener and a good motivator too.  I remembered when I was considering whether to take the Play Director position for MCN or not, he completely supporting me to take it. He said, it's a good opportunity for you to reach out what you like to do. 

Also, when I had a severe sore throat that went on for weeks, he brought me tea from India and taught me (by saying it), how to make a good cough syrup that is better than the cough syrup sold in Walmart. (kekadang tu curik2 jugak minum air berais, habis kena bebel, both dengan Carol and Prathamesh).

Oh, did I tell you his name is Prathamesh? We worked together until Fall semester ends. I asked if he's going to continue working there, and he said no. He got an offer to work as a research assistant. 
:(

So, in Spring semester, we never really got to meet each other almost everyday morning like we used to before. But, we still bumped into each other when I had MCN practice on Friday night and he was at the gym to exercise. On my second last Friday, which was one week before graduation, I saw him cycling in the gym, so I walked up to him just to say hi. I told him that I'm graduating this semester and all. And he was shocked when I told him that. I was a bit in a rush because I was at the gym to play volley, so my teammates were waiting for me. He asked for my facebook name and I gave it to him. And so, we waved goodbyes to each other.

One day after that, this was what awaits for me in the Private Message in Facebook.

Lewl. He's being over-protective. No worries, insyaAllah my future husband will protect me as well and not giving me troubles. :)

Guess what Prathamesh? I'm the one who can't remember what was 'the house with swimming pool' is about. HAHA, sorry. 

That's us, wearing Halloween costume that Carol asked us to wear. HAHA.

To you, Prathamesh, best of luck for the remaining semesters for your post-grad. Thank you for listening to all my worries and experiences. Also, thank you for your hardwork of learning Bahasa Melayu as well as Korean (sikit2) from me. Hihi. Even when life hits you hard, I hope you will always stand strong. All the best for your future endeavors. Also, may everything goes well for you and your girlfriend. :)

See you when I see you, insyaAllah. 

No name

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Lalu lagi jalan itu. Kali ini ditemani mak dan abah serta Naem di tempat duduk belakang kereta. Aku buang pandangan ke luar jendela kereta. 

Tiga tahun dahulu tiada pepohon yang tertanam di pembahagi jalan itu. Dan aku teringat, ada seorang insan pernah mengatakan padaku, dalam nada gurauan, "Kita patut tanam pokok kat sini. Maybe tanam pokok yang keluarkan bunga-bunga lebat." Sebab aku pernah katakan pada dia, aku cemburu dengan kawasan perumahan dia yang bila tiba masanya akan dipenuhi dengan pepohon yang lebat dengan berbunga merah jambu.

Selepas tiga tahun, aku kembali dari perantauan. Biarpun bukan pepohon berbunga merah jambu yang ditanam di pembahagi jalan itu.  Aku masih bisa tersenyum bila kenangan itu mengulit kembali. 

Satu soalan yang ingin ku tanya pada insan itu.

"Ada balik Malaysia semata-mata nak tanam pokok masa malam di sini ke?"

If yes, thank you, haha though I know it's not. All the best for the last sprint of your undergrad life. :)

Catitan untuk seorang Fuzah

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Kenal seorang Fuzah masa masih di Taylor's. Kalau tak balik Seremban, saya akan pergi unit dia untuk semalam dua. Kalau sakit, dialah yang rajin jaga. Paling kakak antara kami. Mungkin sebab dia anak sulung. Mungkin. Dipanggil kak Long Ames. Masterchef #thejirans. 

Selalu ditinggalkan berdua di rumah sebab rakan rumah lain selalu sibuk dan akan ada di kampus untuk jangka masa yang panjang. Peneman makan makanan korea. Kalau teringin makan apa2, selalu bagitahu Fuzah. Dia akan buatkan (well, selalunya lah). Kalau jumpa resipi sedap2 kat facebook, selalu share dengan Fuzah.

Fuzah adalah gila gula. Fuzah suka asam. Fuzah sukakan drama Melayu. Fuzah suka bergaya. Fuzah suka beli kasut. Fuzah ada koleksi tudung yang boleh buat kedai tudung :P Fuzah ada koleksi cermin mata hitam yang boleh dipinjam kalau terlupa bawak satu. Fuzah adalah kakak yang penuh dengan nasihat-nasihat. Fuzah adalah seorang insan yang sangat mudah mesra. Fuzah suka berborak. Dan paling penting, Fuzah adalah seorang insan yang pentingkan sahabat. Fuzah takkan lupakan sahabat-sahabatnya.

Teringat satu masa, aku di satu tahap di mana aku hampir putus asa dan terasa nak balik Malaysia malam tu jugak, aku cari Fuzah. Bertelekung sempurna, berteleku di atas tikar sejadah. Aku letakkan kepala di pangkuan Fuzah dan di situ air mataku tumpah. Tanpa apa-apa kata pada mulanya, Fuzah hanya usap kepalaku sambil mulut dia masih basah dengan zikrullah. Fuzah tahu, masa tu Azira bersyukur, Fuzah ada di situ, duduk atas tikar sejadah, cuba tenangkan Azira. Azira bersyukur, Fuzah ada di sisi bila Azira perlukan seseorang.

Tahniah buat seorang Fuzah kerana berjaya harungi tiga tahun di bumi Pak Cik Sam bersama-sama diri yang serba kekurangan ini.

"Puji, tolong rasakan masakan ni."

Di atas adalah benda yang selalu sangat aku utarakan bila tiba hari untuk aku masak. Kari Fuzah adalah yang terbaik. Fuzah suka berahsia bila dia masak. Bila ditanya, apa menu hari ni, disuruhnya kita tunggu. Misteri sungguh.Teman kos kewangan. Geng tolong ajar cara-cara pakai selendang yang unik. Teman bermanja. Teman tengok The Return of Superman. Teman peminat Daebak. hihi. Sungguh, aku rindu.

Fuzah, Azira tahu Azira bukanlah kawan yang sempurna, Maaf kalau ada benda yang Azira buat kecilkan hati Fuzah, buat Fuzah terasa hati. Ada benda yang Azira tak pernah bagitahu Fuzah, Maaf. 

You are one strong woman. May Allah ease your way to achieve your dreams. May this friendship be bless by Him and lasts long as long as He permits it. As long until Jannah, insyaAllah. I love you so much, much more than you can imagine. Semoga jarak tak dapat menggoyahkan kekuatan tali persahabatan ini.

Catitan untuk seorang Ibtisam

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Dia seorang gadis diberi nama Ibtisam. Ibtisam yang membawa maksud senyuman. Tipulah kalau kata dia hanya tersenyum 24/7. Dia juga seorang manusia, ada turun naiknya. Tapi aku mampu katakan, hanya dengan memandangnya mampu buat aku tersenyum. Salah seorang insan yang aku pandang tinggi. Aku masih ingat, saat kami berenam solat maghrib berjemaah, dia sebagai imam. Saat dia mengalunkan surah Ar-Rahman, lancar dan damai bila mendengarnya. Surah kegemaranku. 

Dahulu, aku cemburu. Aku cemburu bagaimana dia jauh lebih baik dariku, dalam diam aku cuba menapak, menapak rapat di belakang dia. Cuba menggapai dia. 

Kad yang aku beri sebelum menapak pergi menaiki kapal terbang itu hanya kecil. Kecil yang tak cukup ruangnya untuk aku coretkan semua kata-kata yang terbuku. Betapa aku berterima kasih, pada seorang Ibtisam kerana melayani perangaiku yang pelik tidak bertempat. Yang tiba-tiba menari tanpa kira masa. Yang tiba-tiba datang membuli tak kira tempat. Yang tiba-tiba datang memeluk tanpa kata. 

Walaupun lirik lagu yang dia alunkan selalu sahaja salah, tapi sebenarnya itu periang hati. Walaupun melodi yang diutarakan bertukar dari balada ke rentak tradisional, tapi sebenarnya itu yang menghibur jiwa. 

Aku pandang dia sebagai seorang yang kuat bekerja. Rajin belajar. Aku tabik pada dia yang sering bermalam di kampus untuk mengulang kaji pelajaran dan menyiapkan projek-projek seorang senior dalam Kejuruteraan Elektrik. 

Aku suka buli dia. Tidak, bukan buli yang teruk. Suka buli sebab dia jenis yang menerima. Aku panggil dia bayi. Kadang-kadang aku pula dipanggil bayi, tak tahu mana relevannya.

Seorang yang pandai memasak dan rajin di dapur. Air tangannya sedap. Sumpah tak tipu, aku rindu. Rindu nak bermanja dengan seorang Ibtisam. Rindu nak membuli, rindu nak bergelak tawa bila dia mula menyanyi. Rindu nak mengusik bila keluar lawak 'lame' dia. Aku suka melihat dia menjamah makanan. Semangat. Nampak berselera. Kadang tu aku sendiri tak sedar yang aku perhatikan dia makan. Maaf, aku bukan stalker mahupan orang gila. Cuma aku kagum, kagum dengan kesungguhan yang dipamerkan, yang turut sama buat perutku berkeroncong.

Tahukah kau, wahai Ibtisam, kau salah seorang idola ku. Idola yang dekat denganku. Idola yang bakal aku rindu selalu. Mungkin aku tak pandai menghias kata. Mungkin masih ada yang berbuku dalam kalbu yang tak dapat aku luahkan dan coretkan dengan kata-kata. Tapi ketahuilah kau, aku bersyukur, Allah kurniakan aku seorang insan bernama Ibtisam yang sentiasa ada di sisi sepanjang tiga tahun lepas. Aku harapkan kita akan sentiasa di sisi masing-masing buat tahun-tahun yang mendatang. Sekurang-kurangnya sentiasa mendoakan satu sama lain. Aku bersyukur kerana kau ada di sisi walaupun aku tahu mungkin ada masa aku belakangkan kau, ada masa aku terlebih bergurau kasar, ada masa aku sakitkan hati kau, ada masa aku sembunyikan beberapa perkara dari kau. 

Moga Allah sentiasa memberkati kau, wahai Ibtisam. Semoga Allah sentiasa melimpahkan rahmat dan kurniaNya. Semoga Allah pertemukan pasangan yang terbaik untukmu, yang boleh membimbingmu menjadi seorang hamba yang beriman serta anak, isteri dan insyaAllah ibu yang solehah kelak. Ketahuilah, aku akan sentiasa mendoakan kau. Sungguh, aku menyayangi kau.

Nota kaki: pertama kali ni guna kau aku dengan insan bernama Ibtisam. huhu. Tak. Ini bukan marah.