اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ
I don't know if you know that I love Hlovate's story. Somehow boleh connect dengan storyline dia, almost semua. Be it versus, contengan jalanan, rooftop rant, Ked's story, Schubert Serenade, anthem, Aa+Bb atau apa je. Semua boleh connect. So, lately I read again all Hlovate's story and it reminds me of my old self.
I don't know if you guys did follow and read my story back then when I used favouritepinkkot url. If you do, then you'll know how I was back then. I wasn't a really good girl. Selalu buat Mak Abah risau, adik-beradik risau. (Sigh)
Okay, here goes my rant..
I still remember how was my perception towards my friends today (the one I knew at Taylor's, well girls). Amphitheater was the place I first saw them. Socks on and tudung menutupi dada. And I was wearing shawl with beads, ribbon besar dekat tepi, cardigans with shirts underneath, jeans and flats, eye liner. Insecure and I talked to myself, "Tak boleh masuk dengan diorang ni."
It's wonderful how Allah could turn one's heart in second. We went to Penang to take our TOEFL test on weekends. And that was the last time I wear what I wore before. Just on the way back to Subang, I can't remember who but she gave me Contengan Jalanan because the journey took so long that I got bored. But I don't like it then because it is too "keagamaan" if you know what I mean.
No matter how different I was from them, they never discriminate me. I remembered one time after I had my turning point, I was always in surau, alone and crying. That time, I started wearing kurung everyday to campus. No more shawl with beads but bawal gaya kupu-kupu (no, bukan berenang gaya kupu-kupu). They came to me and asked what's wrong and they are the one who reach after me when I was drowning alone.
They gave me motivation, like Hajar posted 'I will survive' song on my Facebook wall. I can't remember whether it was Eera or Aina who accompanied me to Mydin to buy handsocks and socks. When I was struggling, I remember Ras scribbled something on my notebook without me noticing and it was "Mujahadah itu pahit, sebab Syurga itu indah." Yes, it was these little things that keep me going, to be a better person.
I was once criticize them but today I am the one who wants to be like them. There's one quote in Contengan Jalanan that I kept in my mind until today, "the man who decided to change on 12th died on 11th." I don't know how and what will my rant does to you but I hope it is a good change. Especially at the last 10 days of ramadhan.
